


The Stranger He Just Slapped

by Yaoi_is_Still_Ruining_My_Life (Bloody_Jeans)



Series: Attack on Tumblr (Anime Prompt Fills) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Humor, I Blame Tumblr, M/M, Public Transportation, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:32:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7522147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloody_Jeans/pseuds/Yaoi_is_Still_Ruining_My_Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kakashi finally gets what he deserves (and more).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Stranger He Just Slapped

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted since people apparently _really_ don't appreciate organized collections of works. Note my bitter sarcasm.

"A-and then he had the nerve to say, 'Your body is a wonderland, and I'd like to be Alice'! Dattebayo!" the blonde boy shouted, growling with anger. His fists were tightly clenched around the metal pole rising from the floor to the ceiling of the subway compartment. "What shithead does _that_?"

A mother resting on the seats with her young daughter scowled at him just then.

Kakashi, who was only inches away with his own hand wrapped around the steel, raised a slight eyebrow but made no other indication he was listening in, not even glancing away from the word he was focused on in his book. However, he made a mental note to use that one later—the blonde boy might not have appreciated it, but it took some hard thinking and wide experience to create such clever pickup lines these days.

Okay, yes, Kakashi was _unintentionally_ eavesdropping on two strangers' personal conversation in the subway, so that didn't count to his own pickup-line credit points, but it wasn't his fault. If they'd wanted privacy, they could've spoken quieter, especially the blonde.

Not that the older man cared about anything that was being said. It was just an amusing way to pass the time since he'd brought along the wrong book with him. Anything not Icha-Icha was not worthy of his dedicated reading.

" _So_ , dobe?" the blonde's raven-haired companion said, continuing the conversation. Kakashi tuned back in again.

"How can you possibly be on his side?! He completely ruined everything Wonderland-related for me— _forever_!"

"I'm not on anyone's side," the other boy drawled, rolling his eyes, "I just think you're overreacting." Just as the blonde opened his mouth to protest again, he continued, "Kiba's always been a hormonal mutt. You've known that even longer than I have, so it shouldn't come as a surprise to you. Besides, you shouldn't let him rile you up, Naruto-baka. It's what makes him keep coming back. Just tell him he's acting like an abandoned kitten; he'll hate that."

"Sasuke," the blonde— _Naruto_ , Kakashi reminded himself—whined. "You're supposed to say I'm always right."

Sasuke scowled. "I just gave you excellent advice, and what do you do with it? Nothing! It completely goes over your head! Well, don't come complaining to _me_ anymore. _Hmph_." He folded his arms petulantly and stared in the opposite direction. Glancing back from the corner of his eye, the dark-haired boy added, "And I don't know why you think I'd ever do that. I'm smarter than you, so I should be the one always right."

The blonde's eye twitched, and his smile was strained. "I mean, that's what a good friend does, dattebayo."

"Tch. If you wanted a good friend, you should've gone to Sai then. I'm sure he would've accommodated you well," the raven-head snorted, dropping the angry act.

"Pfft!" Naruto threw his hands out, gesturing wildly as if it would help him prove a point. "As if I'd want that perv anywhere near me! It's bad enough I can't get a restraining order without any evidence of his creepiness..."

Unfortunately for Kakashi, the moving train shook just then at the right moment. 

The blonde yelped as the motion knocked him backwards with his arms still flung out in the air. Kakashi could see the hand coming closer and _closer_ , his eyes widening drastically as he realized what was about to happen, tried to lunge back.

The gravity pulling the blonde off balance made him faster.

A loud _smack!_ echoed, and Kakashi's face burned.

Naruto gasped, Sasuke's eyes widened, and Kakashi raised a hand to his bleeding nose. The entire subway compartment went quiet and stared.

 _I suppose I deserve that for listening in_ , was his first thought.

His second came when he noticed the stunning blue eyes and adorable whisker-like marks on the blonde's face as he turned around, horrified: _He may be loud, obnoxious, and annoying, but damn, he's cute._

"Nice one, _dobe_ ," the dark-haired boy hissed, interrupting Kakashi's observations as he slapped the back of Naruto's head.

"I am so sorry! Please forgive me!" The blonde bowed to the older man, face flaming matching red.

Kakashi sputtered in embarrassment, raising his hands placatingly, but Naruto flinched instead, frantic apologies shooting out even faster. Wincing, the silver-haired man cleared his throat. "Umm...," he spoke up louder than normal, "it's alright."

 _You always were one for words, Kakashi,_ he thought sarcastically.

Both the boys in front of him seemed surprised. Sasuke stopped his reprimands and crossed his arms again. Naruto got in closer to observe his bloody nose, and the silver-haired man backed away in discomfort. 

"Kami! I really didn't mean to hit you like that, dattebayo! Are you okay?" the blonde worried. His eyes searched Kakashi's darker one, and the older man really just wanted to wipe away the furrow between the blonde's eyebrows.

" _Maa, maa_. I'm fine. I've had much worse," Kakashi replied, forcing a chuckle and scratching the back of his head. "My scarf took most of the brunt anyway."

 _Get a hold of yourself,_ he thought. _He's barely an adult; you can't go for him, you pervert._

This still didn't stop horrible, horrible thoughts from flooding his head.

"Sorry about him," Sasuke said. The raven-head thumbed towards Naruto. "He's always been like this. His parents and I have this ongoing theory that he dropped himself on the head too many times as a kid when no one else was looking." He offered his hand. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke, this dobe's _paid_ best friend."

The blonde squawked in indignation. "Baka!"

Kakashi felt uncomfortable under their combined gazes but accepted the hand and chuckled. "Hatake Kakashi, the stranger he just slapped." Sasuke smirked at that.

Finally, Naruto stopped staring at Kakashi's mostly covered, now red with impact (or possibly embarrassment) face and stuck out his own palm. He grinned widely, almost _too_ widely. "Name's Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo!" The silver-haired man accepted his offer as well, shaking it, and immediately regretted it afterwards, feeling like his hand was going to fall off when they released.

The blonde hesitated before continuing, "So, um. Hatake-san... how can I make it up to you?" Low conversation in the compartment started up again, thankfully.

"First things first, just Kakashi. Hatake-san reminds me of my father, and I'm only twenty-nine after all," he said, eye-grinning and tilting his head in the way he knew made him look most endearing to others. Sasuke raised a skeptical eyebrow, and Naruto blushed.

 _Ah, so young, so inexperienced_ , briefly flashed through the older man's mind before Kakashi shook it away, wiped the blood from underneath his nose, and looked as if he was thoughtfully considering Naruto's offer, though he already knew his answer.

Oh, well, he'd never had much self-control anyway.

"How about you take me out on a date?" he said casually, pretending to read his book.

" _Ehh?!_ B-But—you don't even know if I'm into that!" the blonde stammered, eyes wide and hands gesturing again.

 _Guess he didn't learn his lesson from what just happened_ , Kakashi noted. _Hopefully, the train doesn't hit another bump. As much as I like rough, I'd rather not be slapped again._

"Well, Uzumaki-kun," he began, "I hope to get to know you better to judge that for myself anyway, whether or not it ends the way I'd like. How about just one coffee date? Or tea, if you prefer. If you still don't like poor old me after, I won't inquire again, and we can remain simple acquaintances." He tried to make it as fair as possible for the younger man.

Naruto's face turned fire-engine red, and beads of sweat trailed down his temple. Kakashi watched them with hawk eyes, forcing his inner urges back. Sasuke nudged the blonde who then straightened, back stiff and eyes flickering away awkwardly. He glanced back at the older man and his face softened when he glimpsed the resigned smile showing on his eyes.

"Hey, it's fi—"

"I think I—"

Both froze in surprise as the other spoke, staring at each other dumbly. Sasuke glanced between them. Naruto found his courage first, flashing a thumbs-up and a wide smile—a _real_ smile this time. "I'd love to go on a date with Kakashi-kun, dattebayo!"

The silver-haired man gaped for a moment before regaining his composure, suppressing his glee, and nodding.

If blood suddenly started spurting out of his nose again without any warning, no one made a mention of it. 

Well, not then at least. Naruto would definitely tease the older man at ~~some~~ multiple point _s_ in the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Based off this Tumblr prompt: “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend”.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please leave some feedback.


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